If anyone knows where I can find the following job please send email to srhoffman@hofftech.net. 

Wanted:  Local company seeking highly talented chair weight willing to sit in a chair for 8 hours per day and do nothing.  Must be able to ignore phone calls, blow off employee requests and ignore upper management.  The right candidate will take extended breaks and minimum 2 hour lunches.  Websurfing, instant messaging and long distance phone call skills a must!  There will be no actual work involved with this position, you are merely here to collect a paycheck.  Salary will be commensurate with experience, but expect something in the low $90's. 

You can probably tell the kind of day I had today.  I don't even know which way is up...and here it is almost 11 o'clock and I'm JUST now finishing.  Not that I want to float my own boat or anything, but I was probably the most productive person at work today.  I managed to get everything that was thrown at me done and hide the huge hole in my pants from the world while doing it.  Well, from everyone except my CEO, who got quite the kick out of it and made it known.  I think the phone upgrade is just about ready to go...all the paperwork was signed and faxed today, so now I just wait for the install date.  It was pretty much confirmed that I'll be going to Florida for the IBC.  It'll be four days with the big wigs, all expenses paid (or at least reimbursed).  I'm going to bed now...to think, I get to do it all again tomorrow!