Hofftech email is working again!  Let us revel in just how much ass I kick!  The workaround...setting up a mail proxy...mail goes to a box somewhere in the world that doesn't have port 25 blocked, which then instantly forwards it to a port I specify.  I set up the mail server to listen on two ports, the one that it's meant to (25) and the one that I wanted (you could figure it out if you knew what you were doing).  It will only allow "hofftech.net" email so don't bother trying to relay through the mail proxy. 

And back to that moment to reflect on my amazing abilities!